dudley_do_ride: Model Fish - 10/27/10

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Female Performer Chat: Model Fish

Created by: dudley_do_ride

10/27/10 @ 9:38am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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DoRide Outreach Organization, serving the public for nearly 50 years, is pleased to provide the following public service advisory in the area of gaming addiction -

Many of you are suckers for what I will call the sim fish games. This is where you spend hard earned dollars to buy games that simulate an aquarium, or some such thing, and take pleasure in seeing the simulation keep track of things, including time you are not watching, or not even powered up. You delight in coming home from a long day of work and checking on your fish, feeding them, checking your bank for funds to buy them a castle or other ornament etc.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying such things. But when addiction rears its ugly head you will find yourself spending more time with fish than with models. Electronic fish I will remind you. And how can this be a healthy thing?

Transferance. Simple transferance. This can make all the difference in your struggle with gaming addiction. And so I will point out the following thing that we have realized - it is possible to use the Flirt site in much the same way as these games.

Yes. Many models here are willing to indulge any fantasy of yours. Many are aware of this problem too and are very sympathetic. If you simply ask, your favorite sweetie may already have a speckled parrot fish outfit that she is willing to don for you. She may be happy to switch her tipping interface to more of a pet shop looking thing that will allow you to buy those fish shaped crackers for her to nibble on for a modest price. You can buy a pillow or some snails for her room.

At flirt time passes in a way very similar to those games. Your models come and go. They change hair styles. They get new hobbies. You can place more than one of them in the same room and see what happens. We have seen that complete transferance can occur in less than a week as a result of the great similarities and the effort that a gamer, desperate for a positive change in his/her life, will make to conquer the grip of the addiction.

So take control of your destiny. End the temptation of the endless parade of sims. Buy your model some snails today!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

10/28/10 @ 9:15am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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* bubble bubble *

- Monday -

My pink panted grouper has gone from blonde to brunette. Everyone looks healthy.

- Tuesday -

Need more snails.

- Wednesday -

Whoa my Portugese fighting fish has returned from some cave on the reef. Looking very fine but also very deadly. May need to add some alchohal to the mix to keep her docile.

- Thursday -
Tank cloudy. Time to clean. Move everybody to a new computer.

- Friday -
The tank is very active today. It is critical that everybody stays well fed.

- Saturday -
Everybody relaxed. Looking pretty self-satisfied. A few pet shops have added pumpkin flavored feed.

- Sunday -
Very quiet. Relaxed. But the Korfuian Rock Fish has been making some great ambush strikes.

- Monday -
Buy a treadmill for the tank. My fish hate it. So bought a sex machine instead. Two new fish came out of nowhere as soon as i did.

- Tuesday -
More snails.

- Wednesday -
Sent in my deep sea research vessel to study the bottom dwellers and northern fish who live in low light levels. Found out they prefer colored lights for illumination. Or strobes.

There are rumors among the other explorers of a particularly powerful fish that hangs out in a deep cave somewhere around here.

The adventure continues. Stay tuned for another installment of - As the Tank Bubbles

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Created by: rovingganster

10/28/10 @ 10:12am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Reality
Posts: 42

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Created by: rovingganster

10/28/10 @ 10:14am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Reality
Posts: 42

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* bubble bubble *

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Created by: jp_penny_packer

10/28/10 @ 10:22am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Posts: 113

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Created by: kali-s_bear

10/28/10 @ 2:56pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Posts: 149

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

10/28/10 @ 8:12pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Ohhhhhhhhhhhh one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish...

black fish, white fish, old fish, new fish.

Some of them are very sad...

Some of them are very glad...

And some of them are very, very bad. (you know who you are)

Yeeeeeeeeeees kind fish, blind fish, wined fish, dined fish...

blonde fish, goth fish, punk fish, heather fish.

Some of them are really tall...

Some of them are really small.

Each and every one is totally unique...
don't ask me why, go to your shrink.

And while you are there...
look under his chair...
and you may find...
some red fish or blue fish or....

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Created by: rovingganster

10/28/10 @ 8:33pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Reality
Posts: 42

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one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish...

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Created by: jp_penny_packer

10/28/10 @ 9:08pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Posts: 113

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

10/29/10 @ 7:31am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Ernie and Bert are out on a lake fishing... Or rather Bert is fishing and Ernie is watching.

Bert - *sigh* It's been an hour already and I haven't got a single bite.

Ernie - Yes I noticed that. The fish are there though. Do you want me to show you a few of them?

Bert (skeptical) Oh really? Just like that. By all means do. Here is my pole.

Ernie - No not like that. I simply call them.

Bert (more skeptical) You call them. What, you simply yell out to them and they appear?

Ernie - Yeah Bert. Only you have to shout really loudly. Because they are under water.

Bert - This I gotta see. Show me.

Ernie - ok. oooooOOOOOOOOOOOO HERE FISHIE FISHIE FISHIE! (really loudly)

A grey fish jumps into the boat.

Bert - Wow that is really amazing. Do it again!

Ernie - oooooOOOOOOOOOOOO HERE FISHIE FISHIE FiSHIE!!

A yellow fish jumps into the boat.

Bert - One more time!

Ernie - ooooooOOOOOOOO HERE FISHIE FISHIE FISHIE FIIIIIIIIIIIIISHAYYYY!!!! (at full volume)

three fish jump into the boat one after another, red, blue, green.

Bert - I want to try!

Ernie - Ok Bert but remember you got to be loud.

Bert (nasally) ok. heeeeeeh here fishie fishie fishie.

Nothing happens.

Ernie - You gotta be much louder Bert.

Bert - Right. ( a little louder) oooooooooooo here fishie fishie fishie.

Nothing happens. Bert starts to freak out.

Bert - AAAAAAGH THEY DON'T DO THAT FOR ME. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, YOU STUPID FISH.

Ernie - Easy Bert. You just have to be as loud as you just were.

Bert - oooooo HERE FISHIE FISHIE FISHIE. (pause) HERE FISHIE FISHIE FISHIE. (gasping for breath) HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE FIIIIIIIIIIIISHIEEEEE FIIIIISHIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE.

Bert slouches on the gunwhales panting. And finally a small gray shark jumps into the boat.

Shark - You called? (and then giggles)

Ernie - That's one for you Bert. (and then giggles with exactly the same mumbly sound the shark has)

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Created by: kali-s_bear

10/29/10 @ 1:07pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Posts: 149

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Created by: Kalikatt

10/29/10 @ 1:59pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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awww wow that is just so beautiful beyond words! Def. on the bucket list as one person commented. :angel

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

10/31/10 @ 10:58am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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heh heh a lot of great stuff. But this song is what is stuck in my mind some days later lol. It is just so damned happy and peaceful. Luca is all right with it. And isn't that a lesson for us all. :winkwink

"And may your chiiiiiiild be a masculine child." :orglaugh

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

11/5/10 @ 1:04am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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The great one was ready. But he was in a contemplative mood. He floated in his cave, feeling the cool jets of fresh water nearby. Floating in the deep. Buoyed by salinity. Feeling no particular need at that moment to dart out, showing his blinding speed, to chase a meal or a mate.

Not like a coiled spring. Not like a static charge build-up. Not like a pulse building in some industrial grade laser. More like a recently run but now quiet racecar engine. Perfectly silent but able to come so quickly to life.

Time. Feel the time pass. Wealthy fish. Rich in time.

Mastery. Of self. Knowledge of his universe. Subject to physical law but able to transcend it all. A wonder. A force.

His slippery mind moved outside of the ocean. He walked the land. Seeing it as well as those who tread upon it. He veered into space. Seeing all. Traveling at the speed of thought. He sought. He found. He dug. He uncovered.

He might be the most powerful creature on earth. And most creatures did not even know he existed. He might be behind the ruler of the universe, pulling the strings, but you'd never know it especially if you came to see the exterior of his algae covered cave front.

What is his nature? How can a man comprehend the mind of the great fish? How can human philosophy compare with his Way, his school of thought?

When a diver ventures into the ocean he may find that a knife, or a spear, is not what he needs to prepare himself for this encounter. For the fleering by the great fish. When his humor turns to mischief and wit cracking. When his surgical knife of philosophical logic cuts into a weak tendon of ill-conceived, poorly knit together ideas.

Odin himself, a great fleerer, is careful to venture near only when sober and well rested. The Valfather treads with light footsteps in this sector of the reef. And Thor, poor Thor, refuses to ever swim in this particular sea.

Look well. Listen closely. Watch your hands. Mind your feet. Don't fear the whale... just be careful when near Philosopher's Reef.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

11/5/10 @ 11:31pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Then came Valfather to the eel guarded reef.

Minions parted aside and let the Old One through.

Thought and Memory cut their paths through lightless deep.

Odin stood, cowl covered, eye hid, with twisted lips betraying his intent, before Philosopher's gate.

"Guppie" called the Dark One and rapped on the master's door with taleworn spear. His shout loud and clear even so many fathoms deep. His bubbles filled with god light. Traveling rapidly up and out. Lighting dark recesses long hid from even mortal photons.

The fish appeared, a glint in his eyes. "How are things poor fellow."

Valfather - "Hmmmm and how am I so poor, half bite?"

the Master - "You have paid too much for what wisdom you have. And now lack depth perception."

Valfather - You have no heroic deeds to match mine. Your body is unscarred. How do you justify that Jellyfish?

the Master - Those who resort to war have shown their limitations. I have defeated as many foes as you using only the power of mind.

Valfather - I have seduced many more maids. The count defies the limits of the highest branches of mathematics. And what have you done in the meantime Limp One?

the Master - I have achieved full understanding of women. At much peril. None thought it could be done.

Valfather (laughing) - Then I know you have no mind left. Reason has left you. No aim is accomplished by matching wits to madness.

the Master - No no. I have returned from that land without scar. Whole of mind. What have you done in the meantime shipless one?

Valfather - Shipless?

the Master - You gather warriors for a battle at the end of time whose outcome is already known. We call that a shipless existence down here.

Valfather - Hmmmm can it be that your thoughts grow fuzzed with sea weed? How does shipless fit?

the Master - You have a compass, pride and need to battle. You have no fins because you are not a fish. You go nowhere. Your life takes you only to a bad ending.

Valfather - You will probably end in the stomach of an alley cat.

the Master - The Fates have you in the belly of a dog. Better a wise cat than a tongue lolling dog.

Valfather - How many legends tell of you? How many worship you?

the Master - Whose life have you actually improved? You only promise a brave death.

Valfather - Bitter fish. Valor starved. You are not fit for Valhalla.

the Master - Twisted manipulator, compassionless, you will never know Love.

The fleering expanded. Both circling. Minions cheering. Bubbles rising. Thought and Memory cawed on their support. Spirits of long dead philosophers swirled in the deep.

How did it end? Who came out on top? Well that of course depends upon your point of view. You will find that many things in life depend upon your point of view...

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Created by: dr.sniffy

11/6/10 @ 7:39am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Created by: jp_penny_packer

11/6/10 @ 7:51am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Posts: 113

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Created by: kali-s_bear

11/6/10 @ 9:35am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Posts: 149

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

11/10/10 @ 8:44am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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(ping... ping... ping...)

Sonar - Captain, we have a detection. Theta class. Bearing 133. Periscope depth.

Captain - Go to torpedo depth. Up periscope.

(after a pause)

Captain - We have visual... Nice... Confirm Theta class. She's already taken on maybe 5 cocktails.

Weapons - Torpedos loaded. Indicators nominal.

Captain - Hmmmmm this seems too easy. Damned fog. Can't tell if she is part of a convoy.

Sonar - No other readings captain.

Captain - Yes I know, but we've heard about some new tactics they are using now.

Number 2 - We could surface. Pull near. She probably won't even notice us in her current state until we are really close by.

Captain - Yes. Risky. But we will quickly know the true situation. None of us want to live forever, right? Surface!

(Hatches open. Water spills in.)

Captain - Everybody mind your sector as we move in. Ahead 1/3. Raise the colors.

( subconsiously a shanty works through their minds as they work toward their target )

Number 2 - I have a bad feeling about this. It is too quiet. It looks like a setup.

Captain - Yeah I know. Usually there is some electronic jamming at least. (shudders) Last time it was ABBA.

Number 2 - We really need a counter for that. It did some pretty bad damage to the crew.

Captain - Hmmmmm it looks clean. A golden opportunity. But on the surface like this we are so vulnerable.

Number 2 - No other way to take the prize.

Captain - Right. Prepare to board her.

Number 2 - No parley?

Captain - There is no one on deck to parley with. We'll talk on the bridge.

Number 2 - Hope this isn't that ghost ship we've been hearing tales about.

Captain - Ghost ships aren't usually Theta class. This is no derelict.

Number 2 - Concur. No smoke in the engine room. She'll keep up with us.

Captain - mmmmmmmmmm I love the Theta class. Just look at those lines.

Number 2 - Oh yeah. Worth all the risk.

Sonar - New contacts! Bearing 180. Raid assessment in progress.

Captain - I knew it! Get below! Periscope depth!

Sonar - Convoy. 8 more Thetas. And... 5 destroyers!

Captain - (expletive deleted) Dive.. Dive... Dive...

---------------------------------------------------------

Tune in next week for another installment of "TFB-18 - The Taking of Convoy 313"

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

11/12/10 @ 11:35am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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They had talked about it on the beach... it was so hot! They had walked hand in hand to the dive shop, Home Depot, and the marina to gather all the necessary equipment. The preparation was part of the fun. The apparatus had to be safe, sexy, and efficient - a real design problem.

Now they were in the water. Excited. Laughing. Fumbling with their unfamiliar and complicated duds. They quickly reminded each other of the hand signals they had agreed upon, and then dived down deep.

There was a railroad tie on the bottom, in the sunny, clear water. They had previously attached some straps to it. Now they used them to make him fast, secured. Mouthpieces slid aside for long underwater kiss as hands freed his manhood from its confinement.

The pressure at this depth was tangible. It changed how they moved. She would use it to her advantage. She would use the same trick as in a submarine. Ballast. Her carefully designed suit with its fancy interface filled with water in strategic spots and she shifted, tilted, and squeezed down hard on him.

Calibration time. Familiarity with the controls. She practiced. Amazed at just how well it worked. The suit was doing most of the work. She could move in ways she couldn't have ever imagined without experiencing it. With very little effort.

Oooooooooooo that felt good. As the time passed her motion became larger in amplitude. More varied. Quicker. Their bubbles burst forth and mixed much more energetically now.

She could spin. She could tilt. She could go vertical. She could flip. Zippers could be opened and closed to allow his touch where she craved it. Her whole body was on fire. Every nerve ending was firing.

Now a quick change. His feet secured on bottom, standing. Her floating free. His pull and suit water jets providing the drive. The problem of torque about a fixed point illustrated in spades but easily overcome. Trying the gyroscope. Becoming sea sick. But having a first rate time.

Finally surfacing when the air supply runs dangerously low.

Drying off together in the tropical sun.

Yeah, I can see it happening.

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